We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
