found the other keg... it's in the tree
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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