drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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