Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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