My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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