I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just had sex bonerless
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
