so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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