What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
