he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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