alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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