come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
