Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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