Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
