Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
