Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

Duck Duck Cougar?

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(805): View more from California

He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex

(949): View more from California

How do you have pretend sex?

(805): View more from California

It was bad...so it was pretend

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(909): View more from California

is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?

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(980): View more from North Carolina

You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.

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(850): View more from Florida

She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night

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(208): View more from Idaho

Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.

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(315): View more from New York

Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.

(1-315): View more from New York

Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha

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(314): View more from Missouri

On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.

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