Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
