No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
