Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
