the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
