do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
