Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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