We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
