im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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