seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
