It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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