About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
