I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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