There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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