We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
