in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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