dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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