your room smells of hookers.
And success
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
