i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It's rum buckets o'clock
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
