I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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