i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
