I can tuck mytits in my pants
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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