Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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