So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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