you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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