On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
