May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
