We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
