A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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