Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
