My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
