Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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