Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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