First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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