so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Found the puke drawer
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
