I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
